CSSCGC 2011 — Not crap!!

Posts tagged “Not crap!!”.

January 10th 2012

Anders Carlsson – Cowthilde

Yet another musical game! This time involving cows (people seems to know how to get a winner!). In this game, which is actually good-looking if you put on your fancy 1983 glasses, you have to guide your tiny hero using O P Q A to approach each… uh… singing cow in the screen. When you do that, the cow will sing a short tune (a bit random, but a tune) and you have to sing it back to her in order to free her from the underworld. If you do it right, the cow will disappear in thin air, but if you miss a note you’ll lose a life. Quite unfiorgiving, but that’s life. The game works nice, moves nice, responds nice, sounds nice and plays nice. Not very crap, indeed, just made in a vintage manner. I’m sure that if a time machine existed, you could easily bring this game back to 1983 and sell it to Micromega for a good sum, and then come back to the present and enjoy the accumulated royalties in your bank account, buy an expensive car, and marry a stripper.


Use OPQA to move around, approach the cows and sing back their tune using the numeric keys.

Click here to download.

December 1st 2011

Paul E. Collins – Do Not Be Seen!

Paul returns with another great entry. In this game, just like the instructions explain like 293 times, you must not be seen. There are plenty of patroller robots wandering around and they can see in four directions, this is, up, down, left and right but they can’t see diagonally. They can’t see you either if you are behind a yellow block (which you can push to move them somewhere else). So you have two choices: first, you can just stay where you start. There’s a good pair of walls made of yellow blocks you they have absolutely no chance of seeing you. But this isn’t very enticing, is it? So your second choice, which may look more attractive, is simply start moving around the map gathering green gems. But, remember, do not be seen! And, I must say, this is an incredibly difficult task. It may look easy at first as there’s plenty of yellow blocks all around the place, but man, those patrollers surely patrol. My record is two gems. After that, I just threw the computer through the window. So be warned!


Remember: DO NOT BE SEEN!

Click here to download.

November 10th 2011

Antonio Villena – Salen tan ricos

Sometimes one has to struggle with finding something crap-worthy, specially when somebody sends you an almost complete Tetris clone which takes just a quarter of a Kb. Yeah, it doesn’t have scoring, nor ending, nor “next piece“, but, heck, it’s written in a quarter of Kb! I bet my signature in the WOS forums takes more than that! But let’s try. ‘Cause I’ve found something really funny: if you load it in 128 mode using “Loader” in the menu, the black line over “Insert tape and press PLAY” counts as a line in the game. Not that it matters much, but I’ve found it quite amusing. Besides, the pieces rotate funny and… Heck, I just can’t find anything to complain of. This should be considered a full achievement, not a crap game! And I know that Antonio has cut the byte count even more in newer iterations, so… What are you doing here?!


Use OPQA if you fancy playing Tetris just for the heck of it. And without aids. For real hardcore tetrisers.

Click here to download.

October 3rd 2011

JBGV – Uchi Danza

And once again we get a submission which, while being funny, mocking, tongue-in-check, and parodic, is all but a crap game. Playability, good presentation, good graphics and nice sound make for an actual, playable game. Trim a bit the intro and you get a game which could have had a proper release and have people talking about it and stuff. But JBGV has chosen to give it to us as a present, and we feel really honored that such a game is featured in our humble compo. It may not be eligible for the Crappiest Game category (do we have categories?), but it should be for some other category we have yet to figure out. What do we have here? Well, Uchi Danza brings you back your beloved (?) judo fighters from Uchi-Mata and makes them dance to a tune. Using O, P, Q and A for directions, just press the correct one when the arrow shows, and your nice dummy will move to the music. Fail to do so, and you lose “groove“. The catch is that this game is actually fun.


Use O, P, Q and A to make the nice guy dance. SPACE is used for selections. And don’t forget to GO NORTH.

Clicke here to download.