CSSCGC 2011 — na_th_an

Posts by na_th_an.

October 3rd 2011
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Bloodbaz – Byrd

Aye, Bloodbaz changes from hoster (last year) to entrant this year for the CSSCGC. And he likes doing it big, and I mean BIG. Behold, ’cause this game is the direct sequel to the community favourite SQIJ. And, of course, it has to surpass the original game in any way possible. For example, this time the bird is EVEN BIGGER, cats are EVEN NASTIER, and bird food is EVEN TASTIER. One could say that Byrd is, in fact, SQIJER, if you tolerate the pun. Yes, boys and girls, this game has probably the biggest number of UDG ever featured in a pure BASIC game: around 779 in all. Yes, you have read correctly. 779 unique UDG. Just peek at the screenshot. But the sad thing is, to move such a massive bird in pure BASIC is quite hard to achieve. If you are fine with a 0.5 frames per second rate, then this game is for you.  And it comes complete with a big deal of garbage on screen, depending on which direction you move. Use O, P, Q, A and explore the shitload of screens available. This one got me inspired, I might do something simmilar. Something even SQIJER.

Summary

Try this: fill your mouth with rollos and shout SQIJ as louder as you can. Laughs granted.

Click here to download.

Posted at 11:20 am on October 3rd, 2011. Comments Off on Bloodbaz – Byrd
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October 3rd 2011
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Radastan – Black

The author has asked us to feature this text to introduce the game: Incredible text graphics, intensive action, surprising end… you need to prove it, you can’t react as yesterday after play this game… BLACK!!! Which is a fair enough effort for a non-native English speaker. Indeed, the game features a great deal of realism. You’ll know what I mean when you try it. I really don’t have much more to say, as nothing that I write here can make justice to the true experience. So I won’t expoil it to you at all. Just try it, and tell me what you think. Impressive, this level of realism is just… unbeatable. At least for me. I’m lucky to have a vivid imagination. And that’s what counts.

Summary

Controls: O, P, Q, A and SPACE.

Click here to download.

Posted at 11:04 am on October 3rd, 2011. Comments Off on Radastan – Black
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October 3rd 2011
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Salvacam – Zhunder Vlade

It seems pretty common that entries come in pairs. Salvacam has even used the same email to submit both – that shows that this guy likes to save. Good thing. He has also used the same controls as in his previous effort: just the M key. This game should release all his games in a compilation called games in the key of M. Maybe this guy is a pure genius when it comes to design games which use just one key, or maybe he doesn’t know how to detect another key. It could be. Anyways, in this game, you control a hellicopter which has only one control: go up. The drill is simple: the hellicopter advances on his own (full-screen scrolling)!, and if you don’t do anything it will fall to the floor and crash. Press M wisely to control its height. And, while you are at it, avoid crashing with all those flying boulders (or whatever). The catch is that this game is actually fun to play. D’oh! Sometimes type-ins were actually fun, and this looks like one of those. So download it, fire it up in your favourite emulator or real computer, and enjoy your M key!

Summary

Controls are not rocket science. Figure them out, lazy bastard!

Click here to download.

Posted at 10:41 am on October 3rd, 2011. Comments Off on Salvacam – Zhunder Vlade
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October 3rd 2011
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Salvacam – Mini Cirsa

¡Yay! ¡Slots! Probably the most boring thing on earth unless you are a compulsive gambler. The catch is, basicly, that you put a coin, and then hit a button, and then maybe you win, or maybe you lose. Great time-killer, innit? Salvacam has submitted a great rendition of the arcade slot machines – at least a great rendition of the most simplistic ones, as you only have to press M to insert a coin, and then wait. Then hit M. Again and again until you are fed up with it or you run out of money. The graphics are big, the animation is good, I love the fact that the game is using the same currency as in Alex Kidd in Miracle World, and the fact that this may be the most boring experience I’ve had in years makes it a great contender for the prize! Stay tuned, Salvacam, maybe the packet of rollos is for you this year! Who knows?

Summary

Press M and enjoy. Press M and enjoy. Press M and enjoy. Press M and enjoy. Press M and enjoy. Press M and enjoy. Press M and enjoy. Press M and enjoy. Press M and enjoy. Press M and enjoy. Press M and enjoy. Press M and enjoy. Press M and enjoy. Press M and enjoy. Press M and enjoy. Press M and…

Click here to download.

Posted at 10:31 am on October 3rd, 2011. Comments Off on Salvacam – Mini Cirsa
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October 3rd 2011
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JBGV – Uchi Danza

And once again we get a submission which, while being funny, mocking, tongue-in-check, and parodic, is all but a crap game. Playability, good presentation, good graphics and nice sound make for an actual, playable game. Trim a bit the intro and you get a game which could have had a proper release and have people talking about it and stuff. But JBGV has chosen to give it to us as a present, and we feel really honored that such a game is featured in our humble compo. It may not be eligible for the Crappiest Game category (do we have categories?), but it should be for some other category we have yet to figure out. What do we have here? Well, Uchi Danza brings you back your beloved (?) judo fighters from Uchi-Mata and makes them dance to a tune. Using O, P, Q and A for directions, just press the correct one when the arrow shows, and your nice dummy will move to the music. Fail to do so, and you lose “groove“. The catch is that this game is actually fun.

Summary

Use O, P, Q and A to make the nice guy dance. SPACE is used for selections. And don’t forget to GO NORTH.

Clicke here to download.

Posted at 10:20 am on October 3rd, 2011. Comments Off on JBGV – Uchi Danza
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September 12th 2011
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AYChip – Vah-Ka Bomber

Ah, poor mortals. They never learn, do they? Nah. They don’t. That’s why being a god is so damn fun. They are supposed to worship you. Always. No concessions. But no, they, from time to time, decide you are not worthy of being adored. Just because. It would be so damn simple to keep up with the adoration and sacrifices, but they choose not to do so. That’s why it’s so much fun. ‘Cause now you have to demonstrate your mighty wrath and hit them with the palm of your hand so they learn that you don’t make concessions.  You have to maintain your good name. Specially if you are the only real God, the almighty Vah-Ka. Vah-Ka knoweth that and, thus, Vah-ka doeth (First Gospel by Vah-ka, chapter 5, 10-11). AYChip, a good follower, has designed a game for Vah-Ka Itself, so It can have a great time loading it up in Its special ZX Spectrum +47. We, simple mortals, still can enjoy it with regular emulators with the speed cranked up to 20x, or something like that. And oh, what a game! A full screen sideways scroller packed with TONS of action. Blast them, crush them, destroy them! Show them the wrath of Vah-Ka!

Summary

Press SPACE to Moo.

Click here to download.

Posted at 7:48 am on September 12th, 2011. Comments Off on AYChip – Vah-Ka Bomber
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September 12th 2011
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Arda – the Owl

Another great entry from Arda, the Owl, and, as the author himself claims, a very Cassette 50 worthy entry complete with joystick support, fast action, and a great backstory! Earth is under attack by the great race of owls from outter space which are determined to destroy every living being, except for rats and frogs (maybe, methinks, their secret plans have to do with transforming Earth into some kind of paradise for frogs and rats – their cattle, which would provide a great food reserve for the owls). And, guess what – you are in charge of stopping them. You and only you alone in the fog, fighting those nasty owls yourself. And some of them take quite an amount of shoots to go down! There’s also nice bonus objects and upgrades and stuff which you must also shoot. In each wave, your ship is promoted to the centre of the screen and you can move vertically and shoot either left or right. Oh, my, this really sounds like a fun game, doesn’t it? Well – it looks like one, until the very moment you start playing. The ship moves too fast that it’s really hard to aim the ever approaching baddies. If you like getting frustrated, this is game is for you!

Summary

You can use the keys 6, 7, 8, 9 and 0 or the Sinclair Joystick on port 1 to control your ship. And I’m loving the usage of the word “or” in the previous sentence.

Click here to download.

Posted at 7:03 am on September 12th, 2011. Comments Off on Arda – the Owl
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September 12th 2011
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Peter Cockburn – Poddy Hawkins’ Big Adventure

And now, after the hollyday season (in fact, it arrived during the hollyday season), we have a new game for you. This time, a blast of the past and, if I’m understanding well the several title screens (’cause they are many!) this is a game written in 1990 for the NES. How the programmer managed to pack a NES game in a .sna file and how a ZX Spectrum emulator can run it remains a mystery. But who am I to break the magic? Something it’s true: the game really does look like a console game, with a lengthy animated introduction (which can’t be skipped, maybe you have to plug in a NES controller and press START, but I couldn’ t make the sucker fit in the computer port no matter how hard I pushed) and colourful menus. The fact that you have your options displayed on a tiny scroller and that you actually have to wait to know which key you need to press to actually start the game, adds nice crap factor to the title. Or, at least, it adds suspense. The game revolves around the revolutionary concept of wandering around finding pink squares. If you step on a square which isn’t pink or black, the quite unforgiving game throws you back to the title screen. It also has a timer which you can only refill if you get 20 pinkies. Nasty, innit?

Summary

You can redefine keys and do some menu stuff in the menu, and I could save some time telling you which keys to press, but I’m not.

Click here to download.

Posted at 6:43 am on September 12th, 2011. Comments Off on Peter Cockburn – Poddy Hawkins’ Big Adventure
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June 30th 2011
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Lazslo Simon – Brainfuck Interpreter

Aye! It seems that entries come in pairs lately. That’s a good thing. Lazslo Simon is back with an incredible utility: a Brainfuck language interpreter. There’s never enough of them. If you are not nerdy enough, you may learn something about this programming language. The implementation is exquisite and it works quite well. Well, it does the job. The main drawback is that you can’t really save your hard work, so you can’t really experience the true joy of programming: taking your code to your nerdy friends places and impress them while you all eat peta-zetas with Star Trek masks on. You can only run this in an emulator and save a snapshot, but it’s not the same as taking out a tape from your purse with a mysterious stare, and then having your pals wait while it loads dying with anticipation. But hey! Nobody is perfect.

Summary

Well, I can’t really explain how to code in the Brainfuck Language in a couple of lines. Have you followed the link I provided in the big paragraph?

Click here to download.

Posted at 10:10 am on June 30th, 2011. Comments Off on Lazslo Simon – Brainfuck Interpreter
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June 30th 2011
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Lazslo Simon – Unbeatable

Ye’llo, all you nerdy chess lovers out there! Are you such a good chess player? Can you easily beat any chess simulator on the humble Speccy? Are you fond of showing your abilities in front of your mates (if any)? Well – here’s a real challenge. I think it’s about time some of you bite the dust, and this program is specifically designed to make you do so. In the author’s own words, this may be the fastest, yet thoughest AI you’ll ever find in a chess simulator. The computer takes almost no time in calculating its next move, I can tell you that most of the time it will be you who’s delaying the game. Your goal is simple: win the game. The main feature in this entry is that it has been created in a such anti-totalitarian fashion: forget about a set of disposable minions to solve your problems. You, as the black king, must do it yourself. That’s how it should be done. Now, good luck!

Summary

Use Q W E D C X Z and A to move your king. If you have ever used Melbourne Draw, you know the drill.

Click here to download.

Posted at 10:01 am on June 30th, 2011. Comments Off on Lazslo Simon – Unbeatable
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